Chicken Rice Crap: A Story Recipe

Most of the recipes I’ve had or known have either been straight out of the book or have been reproductions of recipes someone else had stolen from the back of a box and claimed for their own. Recipes are not protected by copyright law, so sometimes you realize that Aunt Mary’s famous cookie recipe is exactly the same as what’s on the back of the Tollhouse bag of chocolate chips; and no, Aunt Mary won’t go to jail even if they publish that world famous recipe to her credit in Better Homes Magazine.

The recipe I’m going to share with you was invented and named by my mom. How in the hell she came up with such a random combination, I’ll never know. Probably one of those things when you only have a few things in the house and you just throw them all together and see what happens.

This dish has sustained me and my sisters for 20 years. I ‘m not sure how long Mom had been making it before then. But it’s the only leftover that’s sure to get eaten, and one batch was enough to feed all six of us, albeit usually not at the same table at the same time since we all had schedules that kept us apart for supper most nights.

Chicken Rice Crap has been a signature dish for feeding squads of friends, color guard girls, hung over homeys, and now I feed it to my family. It’s one of the only things that my son, Riley, will choose every time when asked to pick between that and something else (EVEN MCDONALD’S).

So, even though it’s not protected by copyright law, and even though you might not know my mother. Whenever you make this dish you should do so with love and admiration for Ginny Haddox.

Whatcha need:

• 1 cup rice/2 cups water
• 1 lb Jimmy Dean ground sausage (Gold wrapper is better. I usually don’t knit-pick about brands in recipes, but I dare not stray from this fabulous sausage.)
• 1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts (You can eyeball this if you don’t buy chicken by the pound.)
• 1 onion (white or yellow, large or small, I wouldn’t go with red for this.)
• 1 can cream of mushroom
• 1 can cream of chicken (You can get by with using the cheaper 10 oz cans as opposed to the 12 oz.)
• Soy Sauce (optional)

Whatcha do:

1. Cook the rice. That’s 1 cup of rice + 2 cups of water over medium/low heat for 15-20 minutes. If you don’t know how to make rice, just get instant or use your rice cooker. I cook my rice in a 2 quart sauce pan. This makes it easier to stir when everything is combined in the end.
2. While your rice is cooking, brown up the sausage IN A SEPARATE PAN. (I use a decent sized skillet)
3. While your sausage is browning, cut up an onion and throw that in.
4. Then cut up your chicken and toss that in. (about 1 inch cubes)
5. Cook and stir until everything is cooked through.
6. Once both your rice and your meat are cooked you can turn off the heat. Dump the contents of your skillet into the sauce pan with the rice. Do some initial stirring before adding the rest.
7. Once you have a good heterogeneous mixture, add the cream of soups. DO NOT ADD MILK OR WATER.
8. Serve with soy sauce as an optional topping.