Blue

Empty but usable, left battered by thought, unsure of any feelings, and by the way, pretending not to care, excuses are always kept tucked in a pocket lining for later, losing is breathing these days, screaming don't go away, arms lifted, a broken hand, something clever gets in the way, embers running down cheeks, that laughter inside of you is busted now, anxiety running away with a punch line, the safest place to put you, that used lock is just as rusty and useless as I am, trying to put down the right words, you’ll be leaving when you want, knowing all the water won’t be blue, and there’s no sunny exit to pass through, when I find you untied, we’ll both be someone new and in the limp beginnings of all I wanted, but this home will be too blurry, the sweet air all around, it won’t ever feel as blue as it really is, I have been between caring for nobody for an eternity, and you never told me the last thing that was wrong, this weight grabs hold of me before it’s undone, living this down might leave me bruised, and I’ll like you less, but all of this threatens to go before I can even say that love is not ugly, not really as ugly as the floor.